That’s how I feel–as though I’ve been hit by a truck or been in a football scrimmage without training or gear, aching badly all over my body, shaky, and weak. I should be black and blue everywhere, but the only change in my appearance is the puffy dark swelling under my eyes.
Yesterday, feeling worse rather than better, I asked Ernie to prepare dinner, which he repeatedly volunteers to do. (We could eat the dinner just as our housekeeper brings it to us from the dining room, but I’m not satisfied with that food and always enhance it.) Shortly before noon Ernie found that he could not get online. Neither could I. Oh, well, I thought, I’ll just have to disconnect and reconnect the modem and wireless router to reset them. But that didn’t work, and I spent two hours on the phone with a gracious Filipino technical support agent before our Internet access was restored.
Now using the phone is bad for me. I try to avoid it and I almost never spend more than a couple of minutes on it when I have to. Two hours of struggling to understand her instructions, getting under my desk several times to move cables, brought on severe symptoms. I was so fatigued before we finished that I told the agent I might not be able to continue, I was teary and my voice was quavery. But I knew that if I stopped, I’d have to go through the whole trouble-shooting, trial and error exercise again. So I persevered.
I was already in a depleted state when this happened. No telling how long it will take for me to recover from THIS.
Last weekend I spent a total of 19 hours over three days with my family. Socializing and making conversation has more negative impact on me than any other activity. Although I felt okay most of the time, before the crab feast ended on Saturday night, I realize in retrospect that I was experiencing mind fog. Just as one loses vision in an actual fog, so I lose cognition after exertion or stimulation. It’s as though I’m having to push my mind through heavy mud. Very effortful to make it work. Consequently, the visit with my family really put me down.
Then, the “conversation” with the technical support agent yesterday. Judy in Australia, who also has ME-CFS wrote me this:
Conversation is my biggest trigger as well. It took me quite some time to make this connection. I also find that it is very difficult for others to understand.
I’ve been watching a BBC TV series on the Human Brain and purchased the accompanying book and flicking through it I noticed a comment on how much work the brain must perform in our social interactions. A huge proportion of our brain is used when socializing. The author goes on to say,”In fact, social interaction is one of the most taxing parts of human existence”. No wonder conversations are so tiring!
So that’s my report for today.